Sunday, February 06, 2005

Stop asking me who the person is. There is nothing much that can be done to change how I feel about her/him anymore. So what if you knew what had happened? Are you going to change the way you feel about the person based on my side of the story? I can be a liar, a backstabber or even maybe I’m hearing voices in my head. So stop asking me. It hurts to think about it. Like a migraine, a paper cut, an itch you can’t scratch, a relationship you can’t forget, a song that rings in your head or a name you just cannot remember. Thinking of it makes me feel cheated and stupid for having trusted the wrong person. So for Christ’s sake, drop the issue. Please.

I remember a certain incident few years back, when a person turned and left me to fend for myself, just to let me know his importance. At that instant of betrayal, I felt like the stupidest person on the world as I didn’t know how to answer to others. Looking at that same person now, I can only use the old sage’s words that a leopard never changes its spots. How stereotypical but never fail to be true. Why is it always so hard to put an egocentric person in place when he thinks that where he is, is not where he’s supposed to be? Who will take the rightful poke to deflate that ballooning ego of his? Nobody, but a foe in his eyes.

It’s strange how the mind works. Where mathematicians and scientists have no explanation for miracles, I put the finger on faith. How can a charcoal walker walk on white hot charcoal and not get burn unless he believes that the charcoal are not hot? Faith by far is the most powerful weapon and the mind the most powerful tool. As from today, I will start believing that I will and I can do whatever that seems like the impossible. Flares and air swipes? Not a problem, just give me time.

The highlight of the week is that windy, my beloved hamster had given birth to 4 baby hamsters, I still don dare to go and touch her as she seems pretty unstable. But I just can’t wait for them to start growing fur and crawl around. Think I will have to sell 2 of them too. A pity, but I don not have space to accommodate them and selling them probably will cover some of the cost. I have taken some pictures of my hamsters; will post their cute faces up in a while. Breaking on the other hand is getting along rather ok. Really been practicing hard, hoping to get somewhere before I start my university. Time is definitely running short.

gilbert at 7:19 PM [comment]

{I hear voices, voices only half as humane as mine..}